Nurture Mental Wellness with Gratitude and EFT

From Hurt to Healing: The Art of Forgiving with Gratitude


Welcome to Lesson 9

Envision forgiveness as a new start to emotional well-being. It's a journey that invites you to let go of the burdens you've been carrying and to step into the light of forgiveness. Like a sunrise, forgiveness has the power to dispel the darkness of hurt, anger, and resentment, and it's an essential step towards your own healing.

This lesson delves into a powerful truth that forgiveness is a strength of character that leads us from hurt to healing, and can be facilitated through the art of forgiveness with gratitude. This isn't about lofty ideals; it's about practical tools and insights that can change how we navigate our emotional landscape. We'll tackle the patterns that keep us stuck in hurt and explore how the simple practice of gratitude and letting go with EFT can pave the way for forgiveness – both for others and ourselves.

We'll uncover how blame doesn't serve us, and how staying present in the moment helps us see people or situations beyond their past actions. It's about reclaiming our emotional well-being and finding ways to live more authentically, without the burdens of blame and hurt.

Forgiving others has nothing to do with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Forgiveness should not be seen as a way to excuse harmful behaviour or allow it to continue. Establishing boundaries is essential for self-protection and well-being.  However, it is a matter of self-interest and self-care to let go of pain through forgiveness.  It's a way to prioritise one's mental and emotional well-being, which is a critical aspect of overall health.

Whether you're here to heal yourself or support others, there's something valuable for each of us to discover. This lesson is about recognising that you hold the power to shape your narrative. It's about moving from hurt to healing, leaving the past behind, and stepping into a new day where improved mental health and a release from anxiety are not just possibilities but a reality waiting to be embraced.

This lesson includes two powerful exercises:

  1. Mindfulness Practice - Finding Forgiveness through Gratitude
  2. EFT Meditation - Release Blame and Find Peace with Gratitude

So, let's begin this empowering ourselves now. As each day unfolds, let gratitude be your intention to forgiveness, uncovering a path to improved mental health and releasing the grip of anxiety from our hearts. You can leave the past behind and step into a future filled with hope, healing, and new possibilities.

The Cycle of Blame and Negativity

Imagine or remember a scenario where someone's words, actions or inaction have had a negative impact on your life. It's a natural response to feel hurt or get angry. However, the thought process that follows can shape how we experience that hurt and its aftermath.

Its ok to acknowledge that you are hurt, a genuine and valid emotion. But what happens next is where things can take a turn. Instead of focusing on healing and finding ways to move forward, you might unknowingly venture down a path that does more harm than good.

To justify your pain, you might start attributing the entirety of your hurt to the other person. You might feel that they alone are responsible for all your emotional pain. You may believe they should bear the burden of blame for how you're feeling. However, this perspective can lead to a cycle of negativity that keeps you trapped in the hurt.

The more energy you invest in blaming them, the more you perpetuate the weight of that hurt. It's comparable to carrying a heavy load of negative emotions with you wherever you go. This load becomes an obstacle to mental wellbeing, hindering your progress toward healing and well-being.

In this cycle, you might begin to look for reasons to dislike this person even more. It's almost like you're trying to build a case against them, collecting evidence to prove that they're the one causing all your pain. But while you're doing this, you're actually hurting yourself even more. You're letting these negative thoughts take up space in your mind and heart, making it harder for you to find peace, while in reality how you feel, doesen't affect the other person at all.

Once the feeling sets in, parts of you are blaming others but another part blames yourself for feeling this way. It's like a chain reaction where your initial hurt turns into a cycle of negativity that spreads to different areas of your life. All of this might make you feel like you're stuck, trapped in a loop that's not letting you heal or move forward.

The truth is, this way of thinking is like a trap! It's not helping you heal, grow, or find happiness. It's only keeping you anchored to the pain and the past, preventing you from finding the peace you deserve. It might seem like a protective mechanism, but in reality, it's causing more harm than good.

Recognising this pattern is the first step to breaking free from it. It's not about blaming yourself for falling into it. Self-blame is as toxic as blaming others; it's about realising that there's a healthier way to cope with hurt and disappointment. Instead of getting caught up in blame and negativity, you can choose a path of healing, self-care, and even forgiveness.

Forgiving others requires resilience and emotional strength. Through our gratitude practices combined with EFT it becomes easier to develop these qualities. Our strength can allow us to face our own mistakes, learn from them, set better boundaries and eventually forgive ourselves. This leads to empowerment where we reclaim our mind’s ability to regulate our emotions, and take ownership of our life with intention.

Remember, it's not about suppressing hurt, but liberating yourself from the chains of blame. Choose thoughts that lift you up rather than drag you down through gratitude. It's okay to acknowledge hurt, but it's also important to let go of the toxic cycle that doesn't serve your well-being. By choosing to shift your perspective and focus, you will open the door to well-being, growth, and a positive outlook on life.

Blame doesn't lead to healing; it keeps us stuck in hurt. Embracing our humanity, forgiving ourselves and others, and learning from our experiences are the stepping stones toward true well-being. Let's choose the path of self-compassion, understanding, and growth as we move forward in our journey from hurt to healing.

Mindfulness Meditation - Finding Forgiveness through Gratitude

Here's a step-by-step guide:

Step 1: Set the Intention Find a quiet, comfortable space and set your intention. Say to yourself, "I am open to forgiving [name] and finding gratitude in my heart. As I do this, I also welcome the great benefits that forgiveness brings to my life."

Step 2: Relaxation Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and release any tension. Let go of stress and be fully present in this moment.

Step 3: Focus on Gratitude Think of three things you're grateful for, savoring the feelings of gratitude. With each one, acknowledge the benefits of gratitude, such as joy, contentment, and inner peace.

Step 4: Bring the Person to Mind Now, visualise the person you want to forgive. Picture their face or recall your interactions. As you do this, continue to hold onto the feeling of gratitude, aware of the great benefits forgiveness brings. You are in charge of this situation now and you are directing your own emotional state.

Step 5: Reframe the Story and Acknowledge Humanity Now, visualise the person you want to forgive. Picture their face or recall your interactions. If forgiving them directly is challenging, focus on reframing the story in your mind.  Imagine a version of events that aligns with the qualities of forgiveness and empathy.

For instance, picture them making amends, apologizing, or expressing remorse. Visualise a scenario where their actions were different, where they acted out of love and understanding rather than hurt. In this mental exercise, reframe the story to one that promotes healing, compassion, and understanding, I know this may not be easy but a little discomfort now is worth it for the sake of your mental health.

As you do this, continue to hold onto the feeling of gratitude, aware of the great benefits forgiveness brings, including inner peace, self-forgiveness, and healing.

Step 6: Acknowledge Humanity and Self-Forgiveness Recognise the person's humanity and understand that, like you, they carry pain and make mistakes. Acknowledge that you, too, are human and have made mistakes which are in the past and forgivable. Reflect on the immense benefit of self-forgiveness and the peace it brings to you.

Step 7: Extend Forgiveness and Embrace Benefits With a heart full of gratitude, extend forgiveness to this person. Say to yourself, "I forgive you for any actions that have hurt me, and I release the hold of blame. In this forgiveness, I also accept and receive the great benefits of inner peace, self-forgiveness, and healing."

Step 8: Release Negative Emotions As you extend forgiveness, consciously let go of negative emotions associated with blame. Picture these emotions dissipating, like a cloud drifting away, leaving behind a sense of peace and the great benefits of forgiveness.

Step 9: Gratitude for Healing Now express gratitude to yourself. Your brave and heartfelt act of forgiveness shows strength of character.

Step 10: End the Meditation Take a few more deep breaths, recentring yourself in the present moment. When you're ready, open your eyes, aware of the profound benefits that forgiveness and gratitude offer.

This meditation highlights the benefits of forgiveness, including self-forgiveness, inner peace, and healing. It encourages you to experience gratitude for the positive transformations that forgiveness brings to your life. Forgiveness can be a journey, and it's okay if it doesn't happen all at once. With consistent practice, this meditation can help you release blame and move towards forgiveness, all while nurturing a sense of gratitude for the healing it brings.

You are doing an amazing job releasing the past and you may not see the effects straight away, trust the process and come back to these exercises as often as possible.

EFT Script - Release Blame and Find Peace with Gratitude

Let’s release the power of gratitude that can lead us from the depths of hurt to the heights of healing.

  • Please find a comfortable and quiet space where you won't be disturbed.
  • Remember that it's okay if emotions arise; tapping is here to help you process and release them.
  • Tap gently on the designated acupressure points as you repeat the phrases.
  • Feel free to insert your own words or specific past mistakes that you are grateful for.

Let's begin..

 Setup Side of Hand (Karate Chop Point): EFT Points Diagram

  1. Even though I've allowed blame to hurt myself, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
  2. Even though blame has been a part of my story, I'm ready to rewrite it with gratitude. I choose to let go of blame and embrace the present with open arms.
  3. Even though blame has held me back, I'm ready to shift my focus and find gratitude instead. I choose to let go of the past and embrace the present, discovering the beauty that lies beyond blame.

Tapping through the points:

Round 1

  • Eyebrow: Releasing blame, inviting gratitude in.
  • Side of Eye: Shifting from blame to appreciation and peace.
  • Under Eye: The present moment is filled with possibilities.
  • Under Nose: As I tap, I release the chains of blame.
  • Chin: Gratitude becomes my lens, revealing the beauty around me.
  • Collarbone: I let go of the past and embrace the now.
  • Underarm: Gratitude's light replaces blame's darkness.
  • Top of Head: I choose to release others and myself from blame.

Round 2

  • Eyebrow: Releasing blame, embracing the now.
  • Side of Eye: Gratitude's warmth fills me from within.
  • Under Eye: The present moment is a gift waiting to be unwrapped.
  • Under Nose: With each tap, I let go of blame's grip.
  • Chin: Gratitude's power transforms my perspective.
  • Collarbone: I'm stepping into a new chapter of healing.
  • Underarm: Gratitude's embrace sets me free.
  • Top of Head: I choose to release blame and invite gratitude in.

Round 3

  • Side of Eye: Present gratitude replaces past blame
  • Under Eye: Even though blame has coloured my perspective, I'm open to a new way of seeing.
  • Under Nose: As I tap, I let go of blame's hold and open my heart to gratitude and peace.
  • Chin: As I release the past, I invite gratitude into this space where blame once resided.
  • Collarbone: With each tap, I'm shifting my focus to the beauty of the present.
  • Under Arm: I release the past, allowing the present to take centre stage
  • Top of Head: I give myself peace of mind and am grateful to myself for seeing things differently.


Let these meditations be a starting point, a spark that ignites your commitment to embracing gratitude and forgiveness as lifelong companions. Undoing the past can take some time so please be gentle with yourself and just keep going with your practice. In doing so, you unlock the door to a life rich with love, joy, and serenity.

Disclaimer: The information and practices shared in this content are intended to provide general guidance and support.  EFT can be a powerful tool for promoting well-being, however it's important to note that these practices are not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care.

If you are experiencing persistent emotional challenges, mental health concerns, trauma, or any other serious issues, it's crucial to seek assistance from a qualified mental health professional or certified EFT practitioner. These experts are equipped to provide personalised assessments, guidance, and interventions tailored to your specific needs.

EFT practitioners specialising in mental health can offer targeted support and guidance to address complex emotional issues. They have the training and experience to navigate sensitive topics and provide appropriate interventions for your well-being.

flourish, decorative, peace-2858816.jpgClosing: The Power of Releasing Blame through Gratitude

In your practice of forgiveness, you've discovered the immense strength that resides within you. You've learned that forgiving is not a sign of weakness but a profound act of self-compassion, resilience, and inner fortitude.

The incremental effects of our mindfulness meditation, combined with EFT exercises for forgiveness, create a dynamic and transformative synergy that paves the way for new experiences and profound healing. Forgiveness meditation, through its daily practice, gradually dismantles the walls of resentment and blame, allowing your heart to breathe freely once more. It fosters a deep sense of inner peace and clarity, setting the stage for emotional renewal. Simultaneously, EFT, with its tapping and affirmations, addresses the specific emotional blockages associated with forgiveness, providing relief from past wounds. As these techniques complement each other, individuals find themselves with more space in their hearts and minds, unburdened by the weight of past grievances.

This newfound peace is not just for you; it ripples out to touch the lives of those around you. Your increased happiness becomes a source of inspiration and encouragement for others who may be grappling with their own burdens. By witnessing your journey towards forgiveness and the transformative power it holds, you become a living testament to the healing potential of the human spirit. In this way, your renewal becomes a catalyst for positive change, not only in your life but in the lives of others, creating a network of healing that extends far beyond your own experiences.

As always, I am grateful that you are here, undertaking the work that can truly change your life. May your heart be forever light, your spirit forever free, and your journey one filled with gratitude, forgiveness, and the boundless beauty they bring.



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